The Folklore Food Blog: Pizza Dough



Once upon a time there was a tech worker who was poor, but had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he got into a conversation with the area manager and said to him: “I have a daughter who knows the art of turning old code into gold.”
So the area manager immediately sent for the daughter and ordered her to turn the code into gold. And if she could not do it, he would have her father’s H-B1 Visa revoked. She was locked in a room with magnetic tape data storage reels and punch cards from 1970’s computer science dissertations.
She sat and cried, because for her life she did not know how the world could stand another dating app.
When suddenly the littlest gnome of a man appeared, and said: “What will you give me, if I code the punch cards into gold?”
She took off her smartwatch and gave it to the gnome, and he did what he had promised.
The next morning the area manager fired up source control system. The weave glimmered across his retinas, an app like no other appeared. He launched it, and was amazed. It tapped into the parking meter network and it payed his parking meter fee. Consumed by greed and the thoughts of promotion, he gave her a room full of 5 ¼ inch floppies, and ordered her to turn them into gold.
The gnome came again. She gave him a USB Webcam Rocket Launcher, and he turned the code into an app to find pizza flavors in the Food Ghetto Of NeverMore.
Never had the manager been so happy. The third night the manager took her to a data warehouse, “If you succeed this time, I’ll make you my wife,” he said.
That night the gnome came and said, “I’ll do it again, but you must promise me the first child that you have with the manager.”
In her distress she made the promise, and when the  manager saw that the bad code too had been turned into gold, he took the daughter as his wife.
Soon thereafter she delivered a child. Then the gnome appeared before her and demanded the child that had been promised him. She begged him to let her keep the child, offering him great riches in its place.
Finally he said, “You don’t have any money. The louse you married spent it all at the comic con. I’ll be back to get the child in three days. But if by then you know my name, you can keep the child!”
“NO!” she cried. “Don’t be so cruel!”
For two days the daughter pondered what gnome’s name might be, but she could not think of anything, and became very sad. On the third day her husband came home from an all hands on deck and told her how, two days earlier, while hunting deep in the data warehouse, he had come upon a mini-tower. A comical little man was there, jumping about as if on one leg, and crying out:
Today I’ll develop; tomorrow I’ll deceive.
Then I’ll fetch the manager’s new child.
It is good that no one knows Codeo is my name.
The daughter was overjoyed to hear this.
Then the dangerous little man arrived and asked: “What is my name?”
“Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?”
“Is your name Heinrich?”
“Then could your name be Codeo?”
“By Togdor’s beefy arm, who told you that!” shouted the little man. He ran away angrily, and never came back.

Pizza Dough
1 package active dry yeast
1 cup warm water (110 degrees F.)
2 1/2 to 3 cups flour plus more if necessary half bread flour half rye flour
2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

In a large bowl, combine yeast with water, olive oil, salt and stir well to bloom. After 5 minutes, add half of the flour and mix well to thoroughly incorporate. Add all remaining flour except 1/2 cup and mix well with your hands. Transfer dough to a lightly floured work surface and knead dough for at least 5 and up to 7 minutes, adding enough additional flour as necessary to form a smooth and elastic dough. Dough should not be sticky. Transfer dough to a lightly oiled 2 or 3 quart bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp towel and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, usually at least 1 hour.


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